Your 13-month-old : Week 4

Your 13-month-old: Week 4

Your toddler now

Painful partings

At 13 months, many toddlers have full-blown separation anxiety. Yours may become upset when you leave her, even with friends or family members she sees relatively often. The intensity of her attachment to you is hard to resist – and she'll probably never be as unquestioningly devoted to you again.

On the other hand, kids this age can be very, very clingy and you may find yourself wishing your child was a little less focused on you. There's nothing more guilt inducing than leaving your crying child with someone else when she wants only you. Five minutes after you leave, though, your little one's likely to have dried her tears and be perfectly happy.

Be as patient as you can during this tender time. Like all normal phases, it will pass. Separation anxiety typically peaks between 10 and 18 months and then gradually fades away.


How to introduce solo play

It'll probably be quite a while before your child learns to entertain herself for an extended period (although some kids can do so now). You can start the learning process by encouraging her to play without your direct involvement occasionally.

Try showing your toddler how to play with a particular toy, then turning away for the few minutes that she may be absorbed with it. This helps teach her that she doesn't need your interaction or direction every second.

When she becomes restless or asks for your help, turn back to her and reengage her or introduce a new activity. Small increments of solo play help build confidence, too.

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Your 13-month-old : Week 3

Your 13-month-old: Week 3

Your toddler now

How socializing happens

Whether your child's a social butterfly or more reserved, you can help him develop social skills with these fun activities:

Hide-and-seek: Chasing you and hiding from you may be some of your 13-month-old's favorite activities. Hiding behind a chair, a book, or even a dish towel, giggling endlessly as you pretend you can't find him, could be the best game on earth. Or you might be the one who hides.

Fetch: Throwing stuff out of his crib or play yard and watching you retrieve and return it is great fun for a 13-month-old – if you agree to participate. He may also enjoy handing you toys, books, and other objects, expecting you to hand them back. This kind of give, take, and give again is actually a social game, a way of interacting with you and learning how to interact with others.

"Watch me, Mom": Your child may love an audience and repeat any "performance" that elicits a positive response, especially applause. Take care to reinforce behaviors you want to encourage, not negative ones like throwing food.

Mirror me: Have your toddler sit across from you. (This is a great game for the highchair.) Do something simple but eye-catching, like waving, clapping your hands, reaching up high, flapping your arms, or covering your face. Applaud and cheer for him if he does the same thing, but don't worry if he just laughs.

Play it safe

Which is better – teaching a young child not to touch breakable or dangerous objects or putting them out of reach? It's really up to you, but keep in mind that kids this age can't yet understand concepts like fragility or danger. For now, putting away breakables and anything else you don't want your child to get into will make your life easier.

Also, now that your child's more mobile, it's a good idea to review all your childproofing measures. Do you need to install more cabinet locks or cover sharp table corners? Crawlers and climbers can get into unlikely places. Safety gates are useful, especially at the tops and bottoms of stairs to keep young adventurers from taking a dangerous tumble.

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Your 13-month-old : Week 2

Your 13-month-old: Week 2

Your toddler now

The toddler tornado

A 13-month-old is a whirlwind of activity. Your child probably thinks it's fun to push, throw, and knock everything down. She's not being deliberately destructive. Rather, she views the whole world as one big science experiment: What happens if I do this? And this? And this? It's exciting to be able to make things happen, whether it's unrolling all the toilet paper or yanking books off a shelf – again and again.

Games that involve putting objects in containers and dumping them out again are likely to appeal to her. Bring on the blocks in buckets and the pots and plastic containers that fit inside one another – and can be banged together. She'll thrill to the loud sounds. Stacking, nesting, and pop-up toys will fascinate for months to come.

Travel strategies

The secret to traveling with a 1-year-old can best be summed up in two words: Be prepared. Whether you're going a short distance or far away, bring a large diaper bag stocked for every eventuality.

That means lots of easy-to-handle snacks (like dry cereal, fig bars, or crackers), milk, water, plenty of diapers and wipes, a sweater in cool weather, two changes of clothes (in case of diaper blowouts, carsickness, or other spills), extra clothes for you (you never know when you'll become part of the mess), comfort objects (bear, blankie), and multiple diversions (such as board books, small toys, and finger puppets).

On airplanes, travel early in the day to avoid delays. If you can afford it, buy a separate seat for your toddler (and take a car seat on board) to give everyone more room. Give your child something to eat or drink during takeoff and landing to encourage swallowing, which helps reduce painful pressure in the ears. Having your child suck on a bottle, breast, sippy cup, or pacifier works well.

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Your 13-month-old

Your 13-month-old

Your toddler now

Evolving eating habits

Don't be surprised if your hearty eater's appetite has shrunk. It's typical for kids this age to eat a bit less and suddenly become more picky. This change may seem strange, considering how active your child is now. But because he's growing more slowly, he really doesn't need as much food.

Try not to pressure your toddler to eat more. Instead, let his appetite determine how much food he takes in.

Of course, even though you can't control how much he eats, you are definitely in charge of what he has to choose from. Keep offering a variety of healthy foods at every meal. Resist the temptation to let him snack on sweets and other not-so-healthy items out of worry that he's not eating enough. As long as he appears to be thriving, he's probably fine. As always, if you have doubts, talk to your doctor.

Dreams become a reality

Even if your child has been sleeping soundly for months, he may now start waking up again at night. Of course, that can happen at any stage during the baby and toddler years for one reason or another. But one new potential sleep disturbance at this age is dreaming.

Between 12 and 14 months, kids start actively dreaming, and a dream can actually startle your child awake. Sticking to routines and creating a beloved bedtime ritual are a huge help in keeping your toddler's sleep on track.

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Your 1-year-old : Week 4

Your 1-year-old: Week 4

Your toddler now

Copy cat behavior

Your child is watching… everything… you… do. Toddlers love to copy the behavior of the people around them, especially their parents. It's how they learn basic behaviors.

You may see your child trying to brush her hair, wiping a counter with her bib, pressing buttons on your cell phone, or trying on your sunglasses. Eventually she'll pick up on your words and speech patterns, too.

Imitation has a downside, too. Your child may watch you take vitamins or pills and later, when you're not looking, decide to do the same herself. So be vigilant about safety. Use child-resistant caps on medicines and vitamins, and store the pills out of reach. Don't let her see how you open child-safety latches – she'll be eager to work them just like you do.

Marking milestones

Worried that your little one isn't lurching around on two feet yet? There's probably no need for concern. The normal range for reaching this milestone is very broad, and some children don't walk until 16 or 17 months.

The 12-month mark is a good time to remember that each child is unique and meets milestones at her own pace. What's important is the progression – in other words, that she's continuing to develop and learn new skills.

Developmental guidelines merely show what your child has the potential to accomplish – if not right now, then soon. Trust your instincts, and don't hesitate to bring up concerns with your child's doctor if you're worried or want to know what to watch for.

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Your 1-year-old : Week 3

Your 1-year-old: Week 3

Your toddler now

Beyond babbling

It's an exciting time when, after months of babbling, your child begins to form recognizable words. It's not an overnight process, and the pace varies significantly from child to child. One thing is sure, though: He understands far more than he can say. Some things to watch for now:

Gestures that speak louder than words. Your toddler may be a man of few words but speaking up a storm in gestures, like raised arms for "up" or a pointed finger for "What's that?" Children who learned sign language as babies are especially "fluent."
Words with many meanings. An early word like "joos" may mean "I'm thirsty for milk," "No, I want water," or "Hey! I dropped my bottle!" Listen to the inflection. He'll say the same word in different ways and using different gestures.
Words from everyday life. Perhaps not surprisingly, your child's first words probably relate to things in his immediate life: "Mama" and "Dada" and other favorite people or pets, or words having to do with eating ("baba" for bottle), sleeping ("nite-nite"), possessions ("ba" for bear), or desires ("up").

Big dangers for small fingers

Your toddler's pincer grasp is probably well developed by now, so he can pick up small objects between his thumb and forefinger fairly easily. He may enjoy practicing this skill on any little thing he finds on the floor, which is a lot closer and more visible to his keen eyes than it is to yours.

Be extra careful about small but potentially dangerous little items that fall to the floor without adults noticing, such as vitamins and other pills, pieces of food (and pet food), pushpins from the bulletin board, tiny toy parts used by older siblings, and so on. They could end up in your child's mouth.

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Your 1-year-old : Week 2

Your 1-year-old: Week 2

Your toddler now

Introducing the dentist

Time to add a new appointment to your child's schedule: a first visit to the dentist. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry and the American Dental Association recommend that you establish a "dental home" for your child around this age. They point out that about 40 percent of children have tooth decay by age 5, and that the rate of tooth decay in baby teeth has not declined as it has in permanent teeth over the last 30 years.

This first visit offers a baseline look at your child's mouth and reveals any problems that your child's doctor may have missed. It also gives the dentist an opportunity to offer pointers on caring for your toddler's budding teeth, preventing cavities, and ensuring the right intake of fluoride. You can stick with your own dentist or choose a pediatric dentist – a specialist with a child-friendly office who's an ace at keeping young children comfortable and relaxed.

At home, continue cleaning your toddler's teeth. You don't really need to use a toothbrush until the second molars (the ones farthest back) come in, typically between 20 and 30 months. Until then, simply wipe the teeth clean before bedtime using wet gauze or a washcloth and water. (To distract your child while you do the job, try giving her a toothbrush to hold.)

You don't even need toothpaste. You can use a fluoride-free baby toothpaste if you like, but don't add fluoridated toothpaste to the routine until at least age 2.


Milk on the menu

Cow's milk is probably becoming a big part of your child's diet now that she's passed the 12-month mark.

Whole milk is usually the beverage of choice at this age because toddlers need fat to fuel their growth and their considerable energy needs. (Possible exceptions: If you're overweight or obese, or have a family history of obesity, high cholesterol, or cardiovascular disease, your child's doctor may recommend starting with reduced-fat milk.)

At 24 months, your little one can safely switch to low-fat or even nonfat milk.

When consumed in moderate amounts, cow's milk has many nutrients a growing toddler needs. Nutritionists recommend that 1-year-olds drink at least 16 ounces of milk a day – but not more than 24 ounces.

Some kids love their milk and the challenge for parents is not to go overboard. A child who drinks more than 24 ounces may fill up on milk and miss out on other foods that are important for a balanced diet.

At the other extreme are toddlers who turn up their nose at cow's milk, at least at first. After all, it has a different texture, taste, and even temperature than breast milk or formula. Parents of reluctant milk-drinkers can try mixing whole milk with some breast milk or formula at first (say, one part whole milk and three parts of his usual stuff). Then slowly increase the amount of milk to 100 percent.

Find out more about introducing cow's milk and what your options are if your child can't or won't drink milk, or if you'd prefer to give her other calcium-rich beverages, such as fortified soy milk.

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Your 1-year-old : 1 year checkup

Your 1-year-old: 1 year checkup

First steps now…or later

Many children take their first steps sometime between 9 and 12 months and are walking well by the time they're 14 or 15 months old. But don't worry if your child hasn't let go of the coffee table yet. It's also perfectly normal for kids not to take that first step until they're 15 or 16 months, or even later. (Learn more about when kids walk.)

Encourage both cruising and walking by giving your child lots of opportunities to move without help and by not picking him up and carrying him too often. You can encourage a tentative walker by arranging furniture so there are safe and convenient handholds all along his path. Remove any dangers he might grab on to, such as a dangling tablecloth or electrical cord.

If your child is trying to toddle, he might feel more secure if he can hang on to one of your fingers, or if he puts his hands in the air and you walk behind him, holding his hands. A push toy provides walking practice, too. Just make sure it's stable and has a wide, secure base.

Two walking aids you don't need: walkers (the American Academy of Pediatrics says they're unsafe and actually discourage kids from learning to walk) and shoes in the house. Bare feet, socks, or the popular soft-bottomed "baby shoes" help a beginning walker practice balance and coordination. Reserve real shoes for protecting your toddlers' feet outdoors.

Checkup checklist

You can prepare for your child's 12-month checkup by anticipating some of the questions the doctor is likely to ask, such as these:


Sleep: How much is your child sleeping at night and during naps?


Eating: What kinds of solid food is your child eating? How's his appetite? Does he enjoy feeding himself finger foods?

Teeth: How many teeth has your child cut?

Developmental skills: Is your child crawling well? Pulling up? Cruising or walking? Pointing? Making eye contact and responding to his name?

Vision: Have you noticed frequent squinting or eye rubbing, or a tendency to hold toys and books close to his face? (Read about other signs of a vision problem.)

Hearing: Does your child turn toward sounds? (Learn other signs of a hearing problem.)

Speech: Does your child imitate sounds, babble, or say any words?

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